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🤢 2/5 - The Canton Arms is a gastropub *par excellence* which can
By 👻 @Terry F., 01/17/2016 3:00 am
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The Canton Arms is a gastropub *par excellence* which can charitably be described as a victim of its own success. A doyenne of the South London gastronomic scene, it is a member of the same family of pubs as The Anchor & Hope in Waterloo, Great Queen Street in Covent Garden and The Camberwell Arms in Camberwell. All ballyhooed establishments which at the end of the day feel like more work than they're worth, despite the at-times brilliant food.The Canton Arms is divided between a pub half and a restaurant half, a surefire sign that a gastropub which claims to be both is truly never either. Arriving on a Sunday around 14:30 - The Canton Arms only serves between 12:00 and 16:00 on Sundays and does not take reservations - we dutifully queued up at the restaurant's entrance to put in our names for a table. Upon spotting a free table at the far end of the bar, we inquired whether we could be served here. We were told that a waiter would come around to take our orders, as otherwise ordering from the bar and expecting the dedicated restaurant wait staff to attend to us would be 'chaotic.' After 30 minutes of dutiful waiting in the bar area - where we tried, and failed, to flag down the bartender's attention to remedy our plight, a bartender who simply gestured helplessly at the wait staff - we returned to the restaurant to inquire about our service. At which point we were told that we had been expected to sit in the restaurant area all along, and that a table would be cleared anon. Thirty-five minutes after arrival, we were finally seated in the back-half of the establishment, which from the sound of clanking silverware we hoped would bring some sort of relief from our gastropub purgatory.How wrong we were. Despite some quality food - which lands decidedly more on the side of refined dining than pub grub - service couldn't have been more disinterested than if the pub's patrons were spontaneously drafted into the wait staff. We were 'greeted' by our waitress with a limp visual handshake. She only perked up - a bit - when asking if we wanted sides with our mains (they must be well versed in salesmanship if not in customer service), but apart from that brief flare-up of personality, she remained a spectre for much of the remainder of the lunch. That is, until things turned disastrously wrong with the wait for the main course.Initially, The Canton Arms seemed to peer promisingly around a corner. For starters, we ordered duck hearts with coriander, lime, garlic and chili - tender, moist starbursts of flavour delicately poised at the edge of excess. The Beaujolais was equally impressive, with a peppercorn start and strawberry-vanilla finish. We could almost have forgiven them for the three 1/2 slices of bread served for free before the levying of a £2 surcharge for more. From here, though, service and expectations were doomed.Nigh-on 45 minutes later came the first sign that something was rotten in the state of Canton. The waitress, heretofore as distant as a vegetarian to a duck heart, suddenly began inquiring about our levels of satisfaction, meekly bookending her inquiries with lame apologies for the slow service. Furtive conversations with another waitress - always an ominous sign - laid bare the probable truth that either the kitchen had forgotten about us or had neglected us altogether for the better part of an hour; I remain undecided on which is more offensive.When the food finally arrived, it landed limp and lame. The venison mains that two of us ordered were supposed to have been served with pane carasau, but were instead accompanied with an insipid pile of watery mash, which rendered our order of a side of potatoes entirely superfluous. We had to point this out to the wait staff before they admitted they had run out of the flatbread. Worse, the dishes were served as cold as the service. When we sent them back, they were returned freshly nuked not five minutes later, but without the fresh layer of gremolata promised on the menu.The side potatoes were entirely devoid of seasoning or dressing. A complimentary salad - a sad acknowledgment of the kitchen's and management's utter failure to please - was lanky and lacking in flavour. Besides, what self-respecting establishment offers up a plate of leaves as a professed expiation of sin? That's taking the olive branch offering a little too literally.The shame of it all is that The Canton Arms is capable of much better, at least in terms of its kitchen's output. On a harried Sunday lunch service, though, the entire staff seemed about as bothered as hired hands at a festival's beer stand. They didn't seem to want our patronage, although I am sure their employers will miss the pounds I will be taking elsewhere next Sunday and every Sunday thereafter.
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